Pilobolus....

Man Loses his Bachelor Degree!!!!!!!!!!!

MARRIAGE:

It's an agreement
wherein a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her master


LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer
to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either

CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present

COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
everybody believes he got the biggest piece

TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is
defeated by feminine water-power!

DICTIONARY:
A place where divorce comes before marriage

CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on

ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel
a feeling you have never felt before

CLASSIC:
A book which people praise, but never read

SMILE:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight!

OFFICE:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous
home life

YAWN:
The only time when some married men ever get to open
their mouth

ETC:
A sign to make others believe that you know
more than you actually do

COMMITTEE:
Individuals who can do nothing individually
and sit to decide that nothing can be done together

EXPERIENCE:
The name men give to their Mistakes

ATOM BOMB:
An invention to bring an end to all inventions

PHILOSOPHER:
A fool who torments himself during life,
to be spoken of when dead

DIPLOMAT:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way
that you actually look forward to the trip

OPPORTUNIST:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls
into a river

OPTIMIST:
A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER
says in midway "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"

PESSIMIST:
A person who says that O is the last letter
in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in OPPORTUNITY

MISER:
A person who lives poor so that
he can die RICH!

FATHER:
A banker provided by nature

CRIMINAL:
A guy no different from the other,
unless he gets caught

BOSS:
Someone who is early when you are late and 
late when you are early

POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand before elections
and your Confidence Later

DOCTOR:
A person who kills your ills
by pills, and kills you
by his bills! 

Watch What You Eat! ...‏